Cny is over. Time passes so quickly. The past few nights i didnt sleep early cuze of the dreams i had and had to pack stuff. Well i feel like there's is so much things i want to say but yet i dont say any of it. I dont know whether someone may suddenly find this blog one day and then boom im doomed. Anyway the only good thing of sch is that i can see my friends. Now that everyone started working im seeing even lesser of them. It is difficult to find a common time to meet as well....this path seems all to similar to those that i haf taken before....the end result of this path i haf seen and am still seeing...its a sad path. Everyone u loved leaves. And when u try too hard...the only one who gets hurt is you. Then one day u will think why u shuld even bother trying when everyone else isnt...and then the final hope of being able to be happy is gone when u finally, give up. There's so much things im not happy abt. I realised im becoming more of a person filled with hate and anger...i also want to be happy, but for some reason it's so difficult. I realised recently, or actually i might have realised it long ago but still wished to hold on, that im the only one trying so hard to make everyone happy but no one else seems to be putting in the same effort...PRINCESS, u told me once that u saw how close your sister was to her friends and how that friendship she had culd last till now and that looking at our own grp of friends u culdnt see the same thing but i would like to ask you, do you think ur sis and her friends managed to keep their friendship based only on the efforts of 1 person? They all wuld haf put in some effort to try to stay close together. Then now after u haf thought abt that qn i shall ask another...what effort have u put in? Even when i did you wuld keep rejecting these efforts that i have made to keep everyone together. Though this may sound lame but it takes 2 hands to clap. I have already extended my hand out countless of times waiting for you to do the same...but i see that each time you wuld brush it off. I wont always be there to put in the effort to get everyone together. But more importantly im starting to grow tired of trying. If someone does read this blog u wuld realise the process of giving up is very evident...maybe im not enough for you...i dont wish to have dreams in the future abt what was lost.