dream of you

i dreamed of you again few nights ago, you were running to me happily as i walked towards you, we were together and others knew. but it was all, only a dream. i tried reaching out to you to meet but i guess i got rejected. sometimes i wonder i should even continue trying or should i just let this die off, even as friends. i dont want to bother you because i know you are busy and probably tired. i shouldnt even be trying. but i want to see you, i want to talk to you. but i dont think the feeling is the same for you.

i went back to cch during bazaar by the lake which was a wk ago. surprised to see that some teachers that taught me were still there, also recognize quite a number of teachers that were teaching while i was there but didnt teach me. they are renovating the main building and they repainted the buildings. the last time i went back was to take uni grad photos with kt and sj. that was 2018, it's been 6yrs. how time flew. before that the last time i went back was probably 2012 when i just grad sec sch. so seems like it is a 6yearly thing. things have changed and i cant seem to remember a lot of things that happened back then. there are like gaps in my memory. i wonder sometimes, if i could redo sec sch again how would i change things? i probably wouldve told my younger self to not be so afraid of tt competition and so that you can play your best. to cherish the times when you are younger without concerns. to cherish times with my parents and grandparents more. to help those in the class that i regretted not helping/standing up for.  

by the breadmonster