i'm still sorry...

still brooding over yesterday's match....though today was the chinese new year celebrations in sch which made me slightly happier...i was still thinking abt the same thing....on the way home i was wondering....if i didnt go to CCHMS wat would happen???to me??to my friends?? i realli wonder...if i didnt join table tennis...would they haf won??? who would haf taken my place if i didnt come to CCHMS...if i can turn the clock back in time...i will not regret making myself disappear from their lives to make their lives better even if they have to forget about me....but the only thing i would wish for is that i will remember them forever.......in pri sch i didnt realli have a CCA. i was always jumping ship and missing training. once in badminton and during the holiday trainings i would try to look for reasons to not go. and the teacher i/c ended up havin only boys badminton team as the girls were not training hard enough. then, i did not want a CCA and did haf this feeling of wanting to spend more time wif the team mates. now that i haf joined CCHMS table tennis...i do not mind having more training each week so that i can see them more often....thought we spent 3yrs together i feel like it has been a very short while only...i do not want it to end....i now feel like i have let them down alot...and wish to change the past....if it makes them get into nationals...i would gladly change my fate for them......but sadly i do not haf this chance to do this for them....